Commanded to Love
"I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another." ~ John 13:34
Read Trust in the Lord before this Entry
How do I stay strong for them? I need to help where I can so that Harim doesn’t have to take care of all of us.
Picking up as many branches, twigs, and anything I can find that could build us a fire, I find my mind wandering through the few moments spent with Teacher.
Why? Why did you fall? Why let them fall? My tears, I can’t hold them back! But all I want to do is hold them back! Teacher, why did you fall?
My heart still yearns for something. You said it was His spirit, but how come it hasn’t filled me? I believe in Jesus, I want to believe in Him. So how come I feel this way? Shouldn’t I be at peace knowing that you are with Him? With my father?
On my walk back to our camp, Harim sits off to the side and I can feel his turmoil. It’s just like mine.
Approaching him, he doesn’t seem to notice. Clearing my throat, it still doesn’t break his concentration.
“Harim?” Finally, when I speak his name, he veers back toward me, “Is this good enough?” I ask while lifting the branches I found.
Harim sighs heavily as he walks toward me, “These aren’t going to catch well. We need them a bit thicker to make a decent fire to camp out.”
I look down at the branches and close my eyes. He’s right, I’m so distracted by what happened earlier that I’m unable to gather what we need to…
“How are they doing?” He asks, motioning towards Ron and Ves. I can’t help but look down and think about…
“See if you can grab my hand when you leap!” I heard Harim yell as myself, Ron and Ves held onto his legs. We all held on tight to him, so he could catch our teacher. But now, all any of us can do is…
I look back up at him as my lip quivers, “Holding on.”
Harim nods, then gathers his things, and with his authoritative tone, he pats my shoulder and says, “Stay with them, Markus. If the beast returns, remember what I taught you.”
I nod at him, turn towards Ron and Ves, and go to be with them.
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, free of hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:17-18
“Hey, do you two remember when you met me and Harim?” If I can find a way to give them a sense of hope, then maybe they will be more at peace.
They both look at me, with Ron speaking up first, “Yeah, why do you ask?”
“This situation we are in right now, is it not similar?” Hopefully, this comparison doesn’t lead to more sorrow, but I feel like there’s a point to me bringing this up.
“I guess,” Ron says as Ves keeps her head lowered.
Come on, I know there’s a point to this! Why did I think to bring this up if I can’t make them feel better? How is this similar?
“Think about it, when you two were lost and had to steal food to survive, we are now in a place where we are lost too. No guidance except for what we’ve come to learn from our own experiences. But we are better off now than where we were!” I explain, but I’m swiping at words that I don’t know if they mean anything. Teacher, you had words that meant something, to each of us! How did you form your sentences to bring us such hope?
Suddenly, Ves looks at me with tears, “Why did we have to jump? If I were able to jump, maybe teacher would have survived. I’m the reason he’s-”
“No! Vesper, don’t you dare say that or think it! Zaith knew what was happening, and even before we started down the other path, he was given a warning by…” I pause for a moment and now realize how teacher was able to form his words. It was His spirit that he surrendered to, as he taught us!
“A warning?” The two of them ask in unison.
“I have an idea for us. Remember how teacher would pray? How he tell us one of the first steps to accepting Jesus into our hearts is to surrender to Him? I think we should do just that and pray together.”
When they look into my eyes, I can see in theirs the same yearning I have. From all that we’ve been through, they are just as scared if not more than I am. I will do my best to comfort them! But when I remember what Zaith said…
“We cannot take on our burdens alone. We must call on Christ to bear them for us. Only then will be truly comforted.”
With my eyes closed, I can’t help but smile and think of all the words passed onto us by our teacher. He would say it wasn’t him, but the Lord’s spirit in him that passed his teaching unto us.
If that’s the case, let me do the same. So I can share Your love with Ron and Ves. May our prayer reach You and be answered.
My eyes open and I nod to them, “Alright, you both ready?”
They nod to me as I say, “Good. Remember, this is my first time.”
Heavenly Father
We were taught by Your disciple, Zaith, that You love us and watch over us. That You care for us and wish to carry us through our challenges. We call on You, the Lord of our teacher, and savior of our souls, to fill us with the strength to get through our present challenges. Help us see You in our grief, so we may celebrate the life of Your disciple, our teacher. For he brought light into our lives, and that light came from You! Let Your light shine in us now as the darkness comes toward us on this night. Answer our plea, for we call upon Your power in Your name!
Jesus, we pray
Amen
As we finish our prayer to You, Jesus, I look up just as Zaith would if he were here. A breeze blows past us, toward where the cliff was where our teacher fell. The wind feels warm, and my worries and grief wash away.
Peace and stillness. This feeling, it feels like… Love.