Lost in the Wilderness
"I cared for you in the wilderness..." ~Hosea 13:5
Read Trust in the Lord before this Entry
Keeping my composure in such a trying time is short of insanity. What would you do, Leontes? What would you say to help ease the pain?
“Harim?” Markus’ voice breaks my solitude. I veer back to see him carrying a bundle of sticks, “Is this good enough?”
With a heavy sigh, I approach him, “These aren’t going to catch well. We need them a bit thicker to make a decent fire to camp out.”
Looking over his shoulder, Ron and Ves sit there in silence. I motion toward them, “How are they doing?”
Markus looks down for a moment, I can see his thoughts overwhelming him, and then he looks up with a mournful glance, “Holding on.”
Nodding, I pick up my supplies and say, “Stay with them, Markus. If the beast returns, remember what I taught you.” I pat his shoulder.
He nods back and heads over to them, dropping the sticks he found and sitting with them. I can’t help but keep my eyes on them. I can hear your voice Leontes…
“If you want to be like me, you’ll have to step up. To take on responsibility and protect those who look to you for guidance.”
A sudden ache from my elbow breaks my mind’s drift, as the wound I received when leaping over the chasm bleeds through the cloth I tied around it. Zaith…
My right eye waters as I wipe the tear from it. Why should I surrender when you did, and all it amounted to was your death? When I look at the dimming skies above and think about this God of yours, teacher, my heart is filled with anger. I actually started to believe there was hope for us. That we could have someone who might be able to fill the void Leontes made when he left.
But look at us… We have to wait out this beast that waits us out. A battle of attrition! We should never have brought Ron and Ves out here. What was I thinking?
What’s even more odd is this beast. With all the times I’ve come down this way, not once has a mountain lion been blocking the path forward. They’ve always kept to the higher parts of the mountain, so the question comes down to why this one is so far down. Perhaps hunger?
Maybe… But right now I need to focus on getting more wood for our fire. Looking up, it seems the night is nearly upon us. I can’t be out too long, and I need the courage to move forward as my legs tremble in the darkness that encroaches.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
Amid this wilderness, the wildlife has always been calm. The game hunted here consists of rabbits and deer. However, I have never needed to camp out in this region of the mountain.
The lion that lurks in our wake is my biggest concern. Keeping watch while Ron and Ves sleep will be very important if we are to all survive. As I scour the forest for firewood, my mind continuously calls back to the moments leading up to Zaith’s fall.
His words, why can’t I get them out of my head? Why should I trust in your Lord? If He is with me, why do I not…
“Our first order of faith, in which He calls us to do, to signify the repentance of our sin, is to first be baptized in His name by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Harim, do you know of any body of water nearby?”
Body of water? The entire reason we came down the mountain was to be baptized. Something about water and fire. But he described it as being a fire of spirit that comes when He reaches out.
Setting down the firewood, I sit down at a fallen tree trunk and contemplate how Zaith used to pray. Perhaps, that’s how I can learn to trust in Him, like he did. I cup my hands together, locking my figures between each other…
Heavenly Father
I’m unsure of how this works, but I seek Your guidance. I seek to trust in You just as Your disciple Zaith did. There is anger and fear in me, and it comes from my lack of confidence to protect my family. But Zaith said to surrender to You, that You will carry my burdens. My fear and anxiety, You take from me if I only learn to trust in You. So… Jesus, I ask that You take my fear and anxiety, and give me the courage to protect Eronadel, Vesper, and Markus from the wilderness we find ourselves in.
In Your name, I pray…
Amen
A sudden breeze blows past me as I look back toward the direction where the cliff Zaith fell from resides.
It’s strange, my heart has steadied itself. I feel at peace…
Love it!