My Testimony
Finding my faith in Jesus Christ
My Family:
In 2020, when COVID hit, things were uncertain. The social-political climate had already been stirring for 3 years in the US and with people in lockdown and a pandemic surfacing, there was division waiting to be unleashed upon the world.
We all know what happened over the summer. It was not a good look for humanity, and it was difficult to speak on certain matters for fear of backlash. It still somewhat is like that, but that’s not why I’m talking about this.
During this time, people across the US were tearing down statues. I believe that statues should be taken down in a democratic process, as statues are a part of history.
My family, on my dad’s side, did not see it this way and a post was made on Facebook to support the tearing down of these statues.
I gave my opinion and immediately I was villainized and demeaned by people I thought would be civil and cordial with me. Instead, I was told to sit down and shut up because the grown-ups were talking. I was told that I was uneducated because I don’t have a degree and can’t speak on these matters.
My immediate reaction was to attempt to explain my reasoning but even being family, it didn’t change the fact that politics at the time was just us vs. them.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I hadn’t seen that side of my family in person for 5 years until June 1st, 2023.
The Weekend Leading Up to My Family Trip:
Before I lay out each day, 1 week before I had gone to the Church my dad attends with Amanda and heard a teacher speak on the Sermon on the Mound, laying out one of Jesus’ teachings in an amazing way. A way I had never heard before.
I don’t think I can fully capture what was said here, but it led me to begin listening to more bible podcasts again since I had stopped when The New Age Campaign began back in November 2022.
Anyways, now onto the week before the trip…
Saturday May 27th, 2023
That night, Amanda (my girlfriend) had her baby sisters over to spend the night. Emmalie being 6 years old was sick with a 24-48 hour flu, and Feona being 3 years old loves to be adorably chaotic.
I decided to sleep on the couch downstairs that night so that they could have my bedroom to sleep in.
Sunday May 28th, 2023
Amanda and I took the girls to a park and got to, essentially, practice parenting together. It went rather well, even with Emmalie tripping and hurting herself and Amanda nearly losing her $400+ hearing aid.
With Emmalie, I was able to stay calm for her when she was bleeding and that made it so that she didn’t cry, even though it would have been fine if she did.
And with Amanda, I was able to remind myself to be patient with her since she was freaking out about losing her hearing aid. We drove back to the park and I found it right away. Thank God it was not broken.
Monday May 29th, 2023
Amanda woke up sick with the same flu that Emmalie had, throwing up and having diarrhea. Meanwhile, I was at work that day and by the time I got home Amanda was resting and starting to feel somewhat better (no longer throwing up but still having diarrhea).
Tuesday May 30th, 2023
I started feeling under the weather but was able to have a productive meeting with Squad 119 of The New Age Campaign.
I was getting nervous about whether I was going to get sick since my dad, my brother Daniel, and I were leaving for Colorado to see my family on Thursday (and my family was very strict with COVID).
Wednesday May 31st, 2023
I woke up vomiting, had to call out of work, and slept most of the day after throwing up six times, eventually dry heaving. I couldn’t hold down any food and my body felt like I had run an ultra-marathon without stretching beforehand.
I had to tell my dad, and he switched flights to change the family trip so that I could still go, but my work wouldn’t let me take the days off. So he changed them back which in total was $400+ in fees.
I felt so bad that he had to do that for my sake and I was fine if I couldn’t go, but by the end of the night when I was feeling better and he asked if I wanted to go, I told him I’d love to go.
There was something inside me that desired to face my family even in my sickened state, to potentially get closure.
The Family Trip:
On that Thursday, June 1st, waking up was not as difficult as I thought, but my body was still aching. The issue I was having was the lack of food in my stomach and we didn’t get to eat until we landed in Denver International.
I was thankfully no longer vomiting, but I still needed to rest. I was anxious also because my family was going to see me sick, and they believed (still do) that if I didn’t get the vaccine for COVID I was harming them by not protecting myself.
However, as soon as my aunt picked us up and drove us over, my heart was at ease. Entering their home felt warm and welcoming.
My uncle who I had once respected and cherished because he encouraged my writing, was the one who told me to sit down and shut up because the adults were talking. He served me, my brother, and my dad, the entire weekend.
By the end of Thursday night, I got to rest most of the day on the couch. Then, that evening, everyone was outside except for me, and they began asking my dad about religion. Asking the one question that most non-believers ask; if God is all good, then why does He allow evil to persist?
My pride desired to stand up and join the debate. Even in my weakened state, I felt as though I had a deeper understanding of how best to respond to their concerns about religion. However, even deeper than that, something stopped me.
I believe now that it was the Holy Spirit.
June 2nd, 2023
My brother had said before we left that he was concerned about getting sick like I did. It is another reason why my dad switched the date in the first place.
Well, you guessed it, Daniel had the same symptoms I had on Wednesday, on Friday. And just the day before, he was talking about how he wanted to explore Denver and all the fun bits of the city.
I felt bad that Daniel was suffering as I did, but he kept saying that it wasn’t my fault and that I shouldn’t worry. It was nice though in a strange sense because I understood what he was going through. I shared in his suffering.
Even though I shared in his suffering, Friday was the day I felt revived. My family made me breakfast and I was able to eat as much as I desired. We went out to get Mexican food and went to a mini-golf course to play. Overall, it was a great day.
June 3rd, 2023
Saturday my brother felt better but I lost my voice. My cousin Ashley and her husband Austin are moving to Austin TX because Austin has his residency there. Austin being a doctor was helping my brother and me out over the weekend since we came in sick.
Furthermore, because they were moving away, their friends wanted to throw them a moving away party at a bowling/arcade/bar. I wanted to bowl because I love bowling and we did.
My dad bought us some drinks too so I got pretty drunk. Then after playing some arcade games with my cousin Shawn (who has special needs) I was sobering up a little and went to find my dad and brother.
They were playing ping pong, and my brother won so I got to play him. I was still buzzed at this point and losing mostly, but having fun nonetheless. Throughout the game though, the ball kept bouncing away and I ran to catch it each time. One of those times, however, the ball rolled underneath a pole in the middle of the place and I didn’t see it and nearly knocked myself out.
In my buzzed state, it made me want to rest on the ground for a second, but my dad yelled to call 911 so I knew I had to get up.
The amount of care that my dad, my brother, Austin, my family, and even the people who worked there made me feel like how Emmalie must have felt when I ran to her aid… Cared for.
Before, when I’d get hurt, my victim complex would emerge. In the moments after I got up, I thanked them for helping me but didn’t go any further and assured them that I would be fine.
They still took care of me and took me back to rest up. Then we had steak for dinner and played games throughout the night.
However, there were moments when my family would make political comments that bugged me. That night I was in deep thought about how I would approach a conversation about what happened in 2020. I concluded that I wouldn’t, but didn’t understand why until now.
June 4th, 2023
Sunday was our last day there, and we all went to the City of Denver together. It was fun to check out the different places and I got Amanda a souvenir.
Then when we got home we set up Monopoly, which used to be a tradition we would have before COVID. We played in teams so that the game would go faster and even set a time limit.
My brother and I were on a team and my cousin, Shawn, and dad were each on a team. My aunt and uncle were on a team and my cousin, Ashley, and Austin were on a team.
Now Shawn got to roll for my dad and he is blessed with incredible rolling. He would roll two doubles and then one roll that would land them on a property. My family kept expressing how lucky Shawn was, but I started to think that it was more the blessing of innocence.
Anyways, due to Shawn’s rolling, my dad had the best position in the game and we only had two properties that we wanted. The final property in play was part of the red Monopoly right after free parking (I don’t know the names).
It was at this moment I began praying that the Lord would bless us with claiming the final property in play. We were nowhere near the property so we had to wait for the others to pass it. For about 5 rounds, no one landed on it and finally, it came to us.
I needed to roll a 9 and all I could do was pray. My prayers were answered and I rolled a 9. At that moment, I did nothing but consult the Lord in my prayers throughout the game.
My brother was freaking out due to having a time limit, and bad trade opportunities, and my dad had all the leverage to start. By the middle of the game, we were struggling, just scraping by.
I did not lose my faith in my brother’s ability to make the best trades he could and my faith in what the Lord could offer me. I know how this may sound, that I found my faith through a game of Monopoly, and chance. I hadn’t experienced my coming to Jesus moment yet, but this game cemented in me the power of prayer.
As the game continued, we just scraped by until my aunt landed on Go To Jail and paid $50 to get out. Then, on her next turn, she had to roll 10 or higher to avoid the gauntlet (Hotels placed down on my dad’s monopoly and our monopoly).
I continued to pray that it would be ours, for whichever team she landed on was going to wipe her out and practically win the game.
Then she rolled and celebrated. She rolled doubles, a 12! She passed us and landed on the chance card space. The card read, “Go back 3 spaces,” which happened to be our most expensive Hotel, wiping her out and winning the game for us!
I was in total awe and had to call Amanda right away to tell her what just happened. The first thing I said to her was, “I think I just learned the power of prayer.”
After explaining all of what happened, we had our evening, a family tradition that we do each night. Our Highs & Lows of the Day!
Everyone cried in this and what made me cry was the internal relief to my soul, that the conflict I had with my family washed away with the love we shared over the weekend.
“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”
1 John 4: 8
It was a Holy feeling.
June 5th, 2023
On Monday, we took our flight back to Southern California, back home and I was able to talk with my brother about everything that happened.
I also got to spend time with Amanda and prep for the 15th session of The New Age which happened on the 6th.
The Day I was baptized by the Holy Spirit
June 6th, 2023
On this day, my life changed. I woke up early and was able to go get breakfast, come back to prepare for the 15th livestream, and just enjoy the morning.
Then, once Squad 119 began showing up in the Discord call, there began technical difficulties. My discord started acting up and we had to switch to a different channel in the server.
Even with the technical issue, the session flowed amazingly and was filled with deep backstories for each character. By the end of it, I was filled with excitement for the future of The New Age, which had been fading before.
At this point, I was saying how the vacation was needed for me to get my head back in the stories, but little did I know what was coming in just a few hours.
Now, after the sessions, Oscar (who is the cameraman) and I hang out and then head over to Jaron’s place, where we play Mario Kart and usually smoke weed. This time though, since Oscar was with me and we weren’t leaving for a bit, I decided to take an edible, right at 4:20 PM nonetheless.
It was only 10 milligrams, but I hadn’t taken one in well over a week since I had been sick. Once I did, it began hitting me about 20 minutes in and I just wanted to talk to Oscar about The CORE Realms and what’s on the horizon.
We then proceeded to head over to Jaron’s and I showed Oscar Entry 14 of The Doctor, which has a scene with Liam being approached by a Syn. It’s an important foreshadowing for what’s to come and Oscar never got to listen to it.
What’s strange is that the scene finished right as we were parking at Jaron’s. Then as we got out of the car and walked up to the house, I was excited to talk about it and Oscar has always been someone who I can truly express my passions with.
And then He came…
Someone could make the argument that I was high as a kite and that this was just a hallucination caused by the psychostimulants in THC. It was the first thing that came to mind for Amanda after I told her the next day.
But at the moment that He came, I saw all the choices I had in front of me, leading down different forks in the road that struck me with fear, but those paths all suddenly converged together to form a narrow one.
“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”
Matthew 7:13-14
“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
John 14:6
Multiple epiphanies exploded in my mind like a bright light and all I could think was, “Thank you, God!”
Tears began to flow and I stumbled back into Oscar and said, “Oh my God, I think I’m Christian.”
Then immense joy hit me and I couldn’t stop smiling. The side door was locked and Jaron wasn’t home yet, so I went over to the garage to open it, and as I did Jaron pulled up.
I was so happy to see him and tell him what had just occurred. But how to explain it all since he leans more toward atheism?
I didn’t care though because all I wanted to do was tell everyone who I care for that I believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
Oscar asked me what I saw and it was difficult to truly explain for it showed me where my story was headed, and where my family would be, but it also gave me insight into what I must do to follow.
To turn away from the pleasures of the flesh, like smoking weed with my buddy Jaron, all so that I can have a clear mind as I follow Jesus down the narrow path.
As I’m writing this now, I haven’t touched any weed and I feel free. Every day I’ve prayed to God for blessings upon myself and all those whom I care for. I’ve never felt this at peace and I understand why we are called to guide others to Him. This feeling is sobering. It changes the way you see a broken world and broken soul that is filled with sin.
It’s not an easy life but is a fulfilling one! It pulls at your heartstrings to a place where you are showered by love and grace. Where you know that even though you aren’t perfect, you are forgiven and better yet, you are loved!